My weekend was really great. I basically had very little human contact with anyone, it was just me and my dog. I stayed over at my parent's house while they went to visit my sister down at college for family weekend. I slept in, but not too late. I took relaxing bubble bath, I went to the library to get some new books to read, I watched old episodes of Grey's Anatomy. On Saturday, I did really well with food. I got a big salad from Panera for lunch and big bowl of soup from there too for dinner. It felt good to feed myself and nourish myself. I felt so much better physically.

I noticed that I have been pretty unemotional lately. Which is pretty uncommon for me. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I will cry if I see or hear something that upsets me or is touching. When it comes to my trauma and grief, it's been a long road of allowing myself to feel and express the emotions I have. But I have been making good progress. But I haven't cried in a couple of weeks, with the exception of a couple of times. I don't like not feeling emotional. Obviously I don't like being overly emotional either. But being numb is kind of the worst feeling ever in my experience. And being numb scares me because then it's like I don't feel like I'm aware of the reality of what's going on in my life and I tend to fall into some denial.

I hate that it's Sunday night and I can feel the tension in my back and shoulders about the upcoming week already. It will be awesome to have my therapist back in town though. SO much to talk about with her. Hopefully I can make more progress with getting back on track with eating. I see my dietitian on Wednesday. Yikes.

Right now my brain feels pretty empty.